“She smiled, and it seemed to me that the whole world became brighter.” Erich Maria Remarque, “The Three Comrades.”
The decision about whether we want to continue to get to know a person depends on the impression he or she has made on us. A friendly, polite person who smiles at us sincerely disposes us to get to know each other and communicate. How men perceive a woman, whether they want to get acquainted with her and, after the first letters, continue acquaintance depends on the impression she makes on them. In contrast to real life and dating in an everyday setting, an impression of a man on an international dating site can be made with good photos and nice, interesting conversations.
Think about it, have you ever noticed after your first letters that a beau promptly loses interest and his words give the impression of being written simply out of politeness? Why does this happen? Often we are unaware that we “splash out” on a new acquaintance the whole weight of our accumulated frustrations, resentments and problems. But communication and acquaintance, the purpose of which is to create warm feelings for each other and the beginning of a serious relationship, should bring positive emotions to both of us. Negative emotions, sad letters, stories about problems and betrayals can only cause pity. A man will want to continue getting to know a woman who smiles at him, whose letters bring him positive emotions. Joy, laughter and positive emotions bring people together. They want to continue communicating and enjoy life together.
A woman you want to meet should be associated with positive emotions, a smile, kindness and attractiveness, but not with problems, resentment, anger and emptiness. The feeling of “emptiness” is created by all the short, unambiguous answers, all the “letters” whose content is limited to unemotional “hello”, “I see”, “okay”. A man will be ready to solve a woman’s problems when she becomes his wife, but not everyone will want to listen to a stranger’s complaints.
Positive people find it easier to find common ground and are more interesting to talk to each other.
Smiling and the likelihood of divorce: research findings
Matthew J. Hertenstein of American DePauw University investigated the relationship between a person’s ability to smile and the likelihood that their family life will end in divorce. To do this he analyzed the childhood photos and adult lives of more than 700 Americans! The divorced people in children’s photos were less likely to smile. Those who looked moody in school photos were more likely to have experienced divorce in adulthood!
Smiling and friendliness in European countries
An important part of the everyday and business life of Europeans is the demonstration of friendliness and good manners. Not only employees whose work results are directly dependent on their courtesy and good manners (e.g. sales clerks, salespeople), but also civil servants are polite and courteous. If you go to a government office, the first thing you will encounter is a smile and a greeting from a government employee.
It is not only people who are obliged by their position or work regulations to smile at each other. In Germany, for example, neighbors smile and greet each other for no particular reason, even if they don’t know each other personally! Complete strangers can say hello and smile at each other-it is not a display of desire to get to know each other or pursuit of other goals, it is friendliness!
One of the signs by which Europeans on the streets “recognize” Slavs is a lack of a smile and a serious, and sometimes frowning, expression.
About the importance of politeness in correspondence with a German man, we talk about in the article “Dating Germans: about politeness and writing culture.”
European men’s opinion of Slavic women
Men in Western Europe believe that Slavic women not only have beautiful looks, but also differ in their kindness, openness, caring, and friendliness. Unfortunately, men become confused when they feel the closedness, wariness and coldness of the ladies in communication. This is conveyed through the frown on the face in the picture, the one-liners and the emphatic lack of interest in the man’s life (many women are shy or deliberately do not ask the man questions).
Always remember that a sincere smile is every woman’s natural adornment! It attracts attention and charms men!
In conclusion, let’s note that wishing to get acquainted with the European and create harmonious relations with him, smile more and don’t concentrate your attention on the negative sides of life, relations, acquaintances! Of course, a smile is not a “magic wand” with which you can solve all the problems in life and not the main component of the relationship between a man and a woman. However, it helps to attract the attention of men, to defuse the situation, to show that the man you care about.
1. Add to your profile on the international dating site more photos where you smile, because a smile disposes to acquaintance more than a sullen and unhappy facial expression.
2. Smile at a man while chatting on Skype, you can let him know without words that you care about him.
3. talk more about happy and joyful moments in your life.
Literature
1. Smile intensity in photographs predicts divorce later in life, Matthew J. Hertenstein, Carrie A. Hansel, Alissa M. Butts, Sarah N. Hile. Springer Science+Business Media, LLC 2009.
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