Short absences can keep a relationship fresh and exciting. That’s why people say that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. But if you are supposed to live far away from your special someone for months or even years, it becomes much more difficult, doesn’t it? Then you live apart from each other, which doesn’t give you a close connection.
Long distance relationships can be very difficult for both people. Does that just mean there’s no hope and you shouldn’t bother? No. If you don’t have a strong connection with the person, you may want to move on. But if he is worth it to you and you both can see a future together, it is worth a try. If you both have the right attitude and rely on certain tools to help, you can make it work and actually have a stronger relationship.
Psst, want to know if absence really makes the heart grow fonder? Read this!
How to spend more time together
If you are in a different field than your friend, you don’t have many experiences together. You do things with your time separately. And you may find it harder and harder to make time for each other as other things take over your focus. If you miss your friend and haven’t seen them in ages, you may be tempted by someone who is really around. What you need to do is get creative and find different ways to stay in touch.
Try these tips if you miss him instead.
Let’s talk about some techniques that might help you.
Use technology
Fortunately, we have many more ways to communicate these days than in the past. This makes long-distance relationships easier. And technology can actually help people achieve better intimacy and communication. Because people in long-distance relationships have limited interactions that happen through technology instead of in person, they tend to focus on what’s important and be more open. Communicating via text and cell phone encourages people to share more and use “uncertainty reduction strategies” that could help both people feel better about the relationship, but can also lead to increased interpersonal perceptions that are usually idealized.
Here are some different ways to use technology:
- Use live video : Use Skype or FaceTime to talk to each other. This can help you see each other’s faces, hear each other’s voices, and learn more about the context of the communication. You can have conversations, introduce friends, show each other things about your lives, and even have video sex if it works for you. You can even play games over Skype. This is ideal for couples who are visually stimulated.
- Call : Use the old method of talking on the phone to stay in touch. You can hear each other’s voices and focus on the conversation to communicate well. Phone sex may feel more pleasurable than video if you prefer not to look at each other while having TV sex. If the other person doesn’t pick up, leave a sweet or sexy message.
- Text : Send messages to each other throughout the day to touch base and share news about your lives. You can also text each other. SMS is a great way to communicate on the go and leave messages when the other person is busy.
- Use Private Messaging: An app like SnapChat offers a great way to communicate without others seeing your messages. If you’re nervous about phone or video sex or sexting, you may feel more comfortable sending photos and videos that you know will disappear.
- Sending long messages: You may want to send emails or Facebook messages to your partner when you have a lot to say. You can keep each other informed about all the details of your life.
- Connect on social media: Connect on Instagram, Facebook and other platforms so you can see what the other person is sharing and just have another way to stay in touch.
Use technology to make random contact and set up times when you’re both free to really focus on each other. You may even want to schedule a regular ‘date night’ each week if you don’t make other plans. Make sure you give each other your full attention when you communicate, and eliminate all other distractions.
Use snail mail
While it’s great to use modern ways to stay in touch, there’s something to be said for old-fashioned letter writing. It’s very romantic to write a love letter that expresses your heart, and it’s fun to receive a random letter in your mailbox. Mix letters with your other types of communication from time to time. Sending emails could be a way to improve non-physical intimacy. This attribute was one of the skills that one study found people gained in a long-term relationship.
Get 10 ideas to write a love letter or learn how to write a love letter for him.
Plan surprises
Try sending surprise gifts and care packages that will make your special someone smile and show him that you care. You can also ask his roommates, friends or family members nearby to help you do something special for him. For example, they could decorate his room for his birthday and say it’s from you. It may not be a good idea to show up unannounced, as a visit could disrupt your friend’s life, but you could schedule a visit and set up a surprise activity for the two of you while you do it.
This surprise can also be a gift. Do you need inspiration? Visits that lead to gifts when you are in a long distance relationship.
Do activities “together
Plan dates when you both do the same thing at the same time and interact by phone or video. You could watch a movie together, spend time in nature, read a book aloud, listen to music, eat the same dinner, or find another activity you both enjoy.
Support each other
One of the benefits of being in a romantic relationship is that you have someone to lean on. Even if you don’t see each other in person, you can still support each other emotionally. Talk to your friend about your problems and let him do the same with you.
Get face to face time
Get real face-to-face time in addition to FaceTime. Make visits a priority so you can see each other from time to time. With the distance between you, there will be a lot of passion every time you meet in person! Each of you could visit the other at your home, and you could also plan trips to visit another area.
You can meet at random times that work for both of you, and plan to get together sometimes for holidays and special occasions like your anniversary. Visits can also help you have more realistic ideas about each other than an imaginary and idealized romance.
Relationship rules and boundaries
It is important for people in any relationship to agree on rules and communicate with each other. Otherwise, you might find out the hard way that you don’t have the same ideas about what cheating is, for example. If you are in a long distance relationship, it is even more important to make an effort to do these things.
Learn all about boundaries here.
Decide on rules and boundaries for your relationship at the beginning. You need to be sure that you are both committed to staying together. Work together to agree on what is and is not okay in your relationship. Will this be an exclusive relationship or an open one? What would you agree is cheating? Is someone cheating with the opposite sex? Is sex cheating without emotion? Agree definitions.
Also, it’s healthy for both of you to have your own friends and activities. But make sure you communicate and agree about them as long as they don’t break the rules. If this is not okay, there may be trust issues within the relationship. Trust is an important component to make a long distance relationship work.
Is fraud likely?
A study found that college students were slightly less likely to physically cheat on a long-distance partner if the partner was 200 or more miles away, and significantly more likely if the partner was 11 to 200 miles away. The author suggested that people who lived in this middle range may not have made as much commitment or effort to make the relationship work as those who went further away.
How to prevent fraud
The relationship must be based on trust and a strong commitment. You can also avoid putting yourself in situations that can lead to cheating. For example, don’t drink alone with someone you are attracted to. Your partner can do the same.
Some people say great sex is crucial to preventing cheating. Find out more.
Communication
People in long distance relationships have to adapt to new ways of communicating when they can’t always see the other person’s facial expressions or body language, or sometimes hear someone say something. We all know that words can be misinterpreted through text or email if we don’t get that extra context. In a long-distance relationship, you can improve your communication by reading context clues better, understanding the way your friend communicates, and finding other ways to communicate better.
Couples in this type of relationship need to communicate honestly and be open with each other about wants, needs, fears, and feelings. Both people must be willing to communicate well and listen to the other person.
Resources
Checking out this guide More ideas for contacting your long distance partner.
If you are tempted to cheat, here are some ways Avoid mistakes .
Here is some advice from people who have been in successful long distance relationships.
FAQs:
FAQ 1: Can my relationship handle long distance calls?
Not every relationship or person can handle long distance calls. People have different wants and needs in a relationship. Some people need those everyday interactions, the constant touch, and the comfort of hanging out together. Some people need to communicate in person, and many people can’t spend long periods of time without physical intimacy. And some people won’t be able to deal with temptations in front of them if their significant other is far away. Consider whether your relationship can handle distance and whether you would both work to make it work.
Also, it’s not worth trying to make every relationship work. You may find yourself in a relationship that you can’t seem to move on from, even though you’ve gone in different directions. If you feel like you don’t have that much in common or probably can’t make it work in the long run, it may be better to break it off and move on with your lives instead of staying stuck in the past.
Connected: How to make a long distance relationship work
Interestingly, people are usually happier about the relationship if they have positive views about it and feel that they will eventually be in the same place. In addition, one study found that individual and relationship characteristics predicted relationship quality more than distance did.
FAQ 2: Are long-distance relationships really worse?
It might surprise you to learn that long-distance relationships can actually be stronger than those in which partners see each other all the time. One study found that people in long-distance relationships reported better relationship quality than people who see each other more in person, as measured by factors such as commitment and stability. People in face-to-face relationships actually felt more trapped, so long-distance relationships could offer more freedom and flexibility.
FAQ 3: Are we definitely going to break up?
Most people think that a long distance relationship is doomed to fail. But is that true? One study found no evidence that this type of relationship was more likely to end. The study only looked at a three-month period and at college students, but it still gives hope.
Interestingly, many relationships fail after the couple has moved closer together. So it seems that some people adapt to the distance and actually like it. One-third of couples who reunite and live close to each other end the relationship within a three-month period. Still, partners may be able to make it work better by changing their expectations and creating new rules for the relationship.
Once again, communication and similar expectations could help the relationship. While some people actually prefer a long-distance relationship and then don’t like living near each other, others are based on being apart only temporarily.
FAQ 4: Can a relationship really be good without seeing each other?
There are some problems with separation that can make a relationship unhealthy or not very strong. For example, the partners could not know each other well, have unrealistic ideas about the other person, and feel lonely and sad most of the time. It can be difficult to communicate fully, feel connected, and be intimate without being together in person. But these relationships can be healthier, with a positive outlook and good communication.
Every now and then it’s okay to cry about your LDR. Check out these long distance relationship songs.
So it looks like long distance relationships can be similar, or in some ways even better, than in-person relationships! But they can still be tough, especially if they last a long time. The most important thing is to invest commitment and effort. If you both do that – and use the right tools and techniques to help – you can do your job.
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