When everything is already solved, the relationship is ruined, and you break up, you often realize that it was a terrible mistake. You want to get back the girl you were so happy with, close your eyes to all the misunderstandings, and be happy again. But is it worth it? Let’s talk about whether it is possible to restore the relationship with a woman who left, how to return the girl you love, and what to do to get your ex back.
Article content:
Is it necessary to get the girl back at all
Top 7 ways to get your girlfriend back
What you need to do to get her back
What to write a girl to get her back
How to get a girl back if she has another one
How to get back the girl you dumped yourself
Do I have to get the girl back at all?
Despite the strength of the initial impulse, this desire may turn out to be a mistake. Chances are, you didn’t break up over nothing.
- If it was an impulsive gesture from her or your side – everything is a little easier, you can cool down and decide to return the relationship.
- But if you broke up because of a serious conflict, chances are slim.
The main thing to realize is that you broke up when you noticed something in the girl that you are not ready to put up with, that you can’t stand in her. Or she noticed it in you. This means you won’t go back to the person you were with before, but to the person you can’t be with by your own decision. This is why stories about returning to exes fail in most cases.
There’s also the mistrust factor – you’ve already broken up once, which means someone (or both) will be a bit on edge the whole time. Won’t that happen again? How much is your (or her) word worth? After the first breakup, deciding on a second one will be much easier – because of nerves and mistrust.
So there are only two cases when it is really worth it to get your ex back:
- you broke up over an obvious trifle and you love this girl. Whoever initiated the breakup
- you can’t let her go the first time. Thoughts of having to get it all back together keep you stuck, and you need a second run to make sure that the person isn’t yours and needs to be broken up with.
So think a few times before you decide to act so that the girl wants to come back. Read the article on how to win a woman back once and for all.
Top 7 Ways to Get a Girl Back
I’m sharing behavioral strategies that will help you regain the love and interest of your ex-wife or girlfriend. Choose one or mix a few, but don’t try to apply them all at once-it will cause confusion rather than a desire to restore the relationship.
- Be honest. The best strategy is if you really care a lot. Go to her or call her and tell it like it is. Think about what you’re willing to do to get the relationship back, and tell her that, too. Talk as much as you can – women love to listen, and it’s important for them to understand what’s going on with you. But don’t forget that everything you say has to be true. If you promise something, keep it. Think in advance about what you want to say, what you are ready to do, take at least a few days to find the right words.
- Show how the breakup has affected you. This is a pressure to pity, but if you frame it intelligently and show how you really regret the breakup and suffer from it, there is a great chance to melt her heart and try to continue the relationship. To produce the desired effect, look unimportant, talk sensitively, but illegible and inappropriate, make the impression of a person who has lost the most important thing in life.
- Come back to her other. Contrast the previous strategy. Wait a while (more than a week), and be calm and confident during the conversation. Tell her that she is very important to you, and that you’ve weighed everything out and know how to solve the problems that caused the breakup. Emphasize that she is more important than some of life’s principles. Act like someone who has changed or decided to change: try not to do things that would normally piss her off, at least during the first conversation. The longer you hold out, the better the chance that things will get better.
- Make her jealous, and then go for it. Make her see you in the company of another girl or even several. Give the impression of someone trying to move away from a breakup in the company of others. Do not prolong this game: after a few days or a week, you can come and say that no one is or will be as good as with her. In this case, she may be bribed by the knowledge of your experience – you really preferred her to other girls.
- Disappear from her life. Right away, as soon as you break up. Completely. Completely and irrevocably. Do not get in touch, do not write or call yourself, do not answer her. Cut off contact as much as possible, don’t cross paths and don’t interact at all. Don’t let her know the news about you – as much as possible. The girl will start to miss you, complete absence will be a shock to her, and she will try to get you back herself. By deciding to part friends, you give her a chance to get used to your absence. At least as a young man. And in this situation, she will be so uncomfortable that she will make a move on her own, and that is how you will get her to come back.
- Remind her of something good. Write that you remembered one of the nice moments in the relationship. Describe it in detail and in a way that she can feel the warmth with which you remember it and relate to her.
- Act as a friend. You probably have things in common – friends, hobbies, maybe even things. Keep in touch, but don’t give her any signs of attention – deliberately keep a friendly distance. And when she wants to break it herself, let her do it, agree that you’d like it all back, too.
What you need to do to get her back
There is a simple plan of action that will help you avoid cheating. You are unlikely to get the girl back if she doesn’t want you to. But by acting on this plan, you will do everything right and get the best quality results.
- Be alone. At least for a couple of weeks. Put your feelings and thoughts in relative order, get over the breakup, think things over.
- Pay attention to yourself. Devote these two weeks or more to activities that bring you joy. Enjoy life and freedom, do the things you love, remember what bachelors live by and why that way of life is good too.
- Think about the reasons for the breakup. Where there was incompatibility, where you ran out of patience, where you couldn’t find a way out. If it’s a girl who dumped you, think about what drove her completely.
- Get in touch with her, if after the first three points the desire to get back on track has not disappeared. Show a positive and lighthearted attitude when you call or text her, and talk about the serious stuff when you meet her.
- Keep a straight face when you meet. Act like you went out for coffee with a friend-even if it’s going to be hard. Don’t cause drama. Show her the guy she fell in love with, not the one she broke up with.
- Keep seeing each other if you haven’t changed your mind even after the meeting. Watch how you feel – do you really need it back, or is it an obsession or a hunter’s instinct.
- Lay out all your cards after a few sporadic meetings. Tell them that you survived the breakup, you’ve learned your lesson, you’ve changed, and you still want to be together. Reassure her that you’re working on yourself, that you’ve heard her words and are ready to change.
- Once you’ve gotten agreement, start working on the relationship to avoid past mistakes and not make new ones. Talk about what’s going on, criticize each other gently, be patient.
What to write to a girl to win her back
Before you sit down to write a post, learn about what it shouldn’t contain:
- You may really hate your ex, but if you let her know that you hate her, it’s unlikely she’ll ever want to talk to you again. But if you let her know about it, and at the same time berate her in some stronger way, it is unlikely that she will ever want to talk to you again.
- Spam. A constant stream of messages about everything. Feelings, weather, memories, thoughts, plans.
- Drama-queen mode. Don’t write about how she broke your heart, that the only time you ever felt that kind of pain was at the dentist as a kid, and it’s a little worse now, that you want to reset, that without her the world has faded and you’ve lost the taste for life. Don’t humiliate yourself.
If you can’t help but make one of these mistakes, write something like, “Sorry, I wasn’t myself. In addition to the breakup, I had a lot on my mind, so I snapped. I wish you the best of luck.” Briefly apologize and end the correspondence with a final sentence.
It makes sense to wait with the first message for about a month. By getting in touch earlier, you’ll put yourself in the weak position of stalker and give her all the power to decide what to do with you and the relationship.
A month without communication will change your places:
- She will be the one looking for your attention,
- Worry why you don’t respond to messages,
- stalking and hovering.
In addition, in a month you both have time to cool down and understand a lot about each other and relationships.
Remember a few rules of correspondence as well:
- Don’t respond to messages instantly. Wait 15 minutes to a couple of hours so you don’t show that you’re waiting for her answers.
- Answer succinctly. Write things that help keep the conversation going, but avoid long texts about feelings, thoughts, and events.
- The past is in the past. Don’t have a showdown about a relationship, don’t ask if she’s seeing someone now, and don’t touch on conflict topics. Talk about what’s relevant and what she’s interested in. Be sincere.
Here are five examples of messages that are suitable for the beginning of communication and fit into all the rules that have been announced:
- “Hi. I’m planning to go on vacation to Turkey, I remember that you know some good places there. I would be very grateful if you could give me some advice. How about we meet for coffee for ten minutes?”
- “Hi. I’m redecorating a room and don’t know what to make it look like in the end. Can you help me with some ideas? You were always so good at decorating. We can discuss it over a cup of coffee, it won’t take long.”
- “Hi. Do you remember the name of that restaurant we went to back in October? I want to go there with my girlfriend, but I forgot the name and where it is. You’d be a big help.”
- “Saw the kids at the amusement park the other day and remembered how we roared on the roller coaster. I hope you’re doing well.”
- “Remember when we went out for our first picnic that season? And a butterfly landed on your knee and you got scared. I still laugh about that moment, it’s one of my fondest memories of the past year.”
How to get the girl back if she has another one
When your ex is no longer single, it may be harder to get her back.
- If you broke up recently, she probably started seeing someone else to get over you and fall in love with you instead of going through a painful breakup.
- If it’s been a few months, however, she may well have come to her senses and consciously entered into another relationship – and then your chances are slim. Better register on Meetking and start a new relationship.
In this situation, the man has two main levers: to be better than the current partner and to remind her of how good it was together. You will have to work hard on yourself and get rid of the habits that caused you to break up and that annoyed her. It won’t hurt to find out what you can do better than her new boyfriend, what he can do to piss her off, so you can use that to your advantage.
- To begin with, reduce the distance a little, appear sporadically in her life without the slightest hint of courting and signs of attention.
- Ask for advice, share the news, take an interest in her life – unobtrusively.
- Don’t bring up past relationships and don’t try to seem like a threat to the current one.
- Then shorten the distance more strongly, become her friend and support, be perfect and don’t claim to be her lover.
At some point, there will be a breakdown in her relationship, and she will tell you about it out of weakness. This is where you will get your trump cards: tell her that you have changed, rethink everything that happened between you, appreciate her no matter what, and think that she deserves better (try to demonstrate in advance and at this point that you are the best).
Remind her of how good you were together. Show and prove that you have changed and heard her. Most likely, she will feel sorry for you, and you will be able to win her back.
How to get back the girl you dumped yourself
It’s easier for a girl who dumped you to change her mind. If you initiated the breakup, the power over the future of the relationship remains in your hands. The partner is afraid of this – she does not like the fact that she can be controlled, alienated and approached at will. Therefore, either out of strong feelings she will seek to return to the relationship herself, or she will resist it as much as possible.
Your strategy is to convince her that you are not as mean as you seem. You need to convince her that you’re safe-and that can be difficult. Even if she wants you back, she’ll still be afraid that you’ll decide to leave her again.
Approach carefully: find out how she’s feeling, give her time to suffer and sour on you. During this time don’t get in touch, then check on her well-being and show up to apologize as pathetically and pompously as possible. It’s hard for a dumped girl to believe in her worth and your desires – convince her of them. With gestures, help, expensive gifts, or promises – whatever she perceives best.
In any case, you will always have the opportunity to choose the best dating site and register on it to meet the girl you like.
- Do you often get the urge to get your ex-girlfriend back?
- Have you been able to build a long-lasting relationship from the second run?
- Do you believe you can be happy with the same person twice?
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