Erogenous zones are those areas on our body, the touching of which causes us more arousal and pleasant sensations than any other areas. For example, you can touch your hand and it’s some definite sensations. You can do that right now. If you run your finger over your lips, it’s a different sensation. If you touch yourself in the neck area and gently and gently run your hand behind your ear, that’s a third sensation. And depending on where you feel the involvement and emotional lift, where the experience is stronger than stroking your hand, that’s where your erogenous zone will be.
- Erogenous zones. How do you find them?
- What to do if your partner can’t find them during sexual intimacy?
- Is it possible to develop sensitivity of erogenous zones?
How do you press, stroke, scratch, and bite to discover your erogenous zone? There is no universal answer. And the more you explore your body, the more you talk to people about it, you notice that everyone’s erogenous zones are different. Some people like to be touched behind the ear. For another person, it may cause a tickling sensation. That’s so ticklish that it’s even uncomfortable.
Some people like it when their tummy is kissed, and another person, whether male or female, can also be ticklish, painful, or unpleasant. Depending on our individual sensitivity; on how in general we are in touch with our body; how well we hear its signals – we will have very different numbers of erogenous zones and how the body responds to different kinds of touches. And we will respond differently to different stimulation.
How to Explore your Body
After taking a shower, when you’re naked, relaxed after hot water because you’ve washed away all the stress and tension, you need to prepare your body. Activate your nerve receptors and get a little involved in the experience.
You can stroke your whole body with a towel. And then with your hand. You can go over different areas of your body with light touches and set yourself up to get the body a little turned on. It can be tapping, stroking, scratching, that is, any touch that feels good to you. You need to do this in areas that are as accessible to you as possible.
The next step (ideally done with your eyes closed) is to tune in as much as possible to the sensations in your body and start touching yourself. You lead your hand over your other hand and listen: “What am I feeling right now? How do I feel the touch here, and how, if I swipe here?” You may notice that there is more sensitivity on the inside of your hand than on the outside, although it may be different for some of you. Explore how yours is.
But more often than not, the inner side, where we have thinner skin, where it rubs less against clothing, it’s more sensitive. The inside of your arms and your thighs are the areas that we’re most sensitive. You touch yourself, “Where and how do I need to touch myself to get goosebumps, awe, excitement, interest, response?” That is, you do this touching, stroking, or scratching, and the body responds – you realize that you feel good there.
Then you have to explore exactly what kind of stimulation you like. You find a sensitive area, for example, on your arm, and you try how pleasant it feels on a scale of one to ten. For example, on a scale of four. And if I scratch or stroke, that’s a five. And if I tap, that’s about a two. Your task is to listen to yourself: what method of stimulation pleases this erogenous zone the most. What about the area behind your ear? And what – on the lips? Where else will you find your erogenous zones?
When I give this task to my clients or participants in my courses, they often give me feedback: “You know, I didn’t even think I had such erogenous zones. Someone finds them in the coccyx area, someone on the side, and someone suddenly discovers that they have very sensitive breasts. Some have a neck, some – the so-called scruff. Some women like it when a man grabs them by the hair, it excites them a lot.
Your man can do the same thing and discover where his erogenous zones are. What is repeated in most of us are the hands, the feet, the inside of the thighs, the area under the buttocks, the lower back, the breasts (chest), the neck, the earlobes, the lips. Of course, the most sensitive erogenous zones are the area of our genitals. For men this is the penis and scrotum, for women – the vulva and the entrance to the vagina, the lower third of it.
The Erogenous Zones Inside a Woman’s Vagina
Not all women have internal erogenous zones awakened. You can say that they are asleep, because we have not activated them and the nerve endings that are concentrated there are in the inactive phase. If you learn to develop them, turn them on, activate them, then sexual intimacy with your partner will be much more pleasant for you. You can also explore them: put a finger in your vagina and listen to yourself, being relaxed, being in a comfortable environment, and observe how the inner surface of your vagina reacts to the touch of a finger.
Some of you may discover in this way your G zone, which is on the front wall of the vagina, and if you insert your finger, it’s about two phalanges toward your abdomen. If you have this area awakened, it will feel good when you touch yourself like this. If it is dormant, there will be either neutral feelings or uncomfortable sensations with urges to urinate. You can explore your inner erogenous zones and feel what you have going on inside those spaces where your sexuality is maximized.
Be Sure to Explore Yourself and Your Partner
The best thing you can do to get to know yourself and improve the quality of your sex life is to bring those ways of stimulation you discovered while exploring yourself and your erogenous zones as foreplay into sexual intimacy. If you have learned, researched and realized that you insanely like it when a man kisses your neck or when he touches your neck with his hand in some special way, then tell him about it.
Suggest where you like it best when he touches, and exactly how. Very often we, women, want a man to guess himself: “Well, what’s not clear? Well, everyone likes it when they kiss behind the ear! No, not everyone likes it. Maybe the man does not even realize that this is the kiss will make the maximum impression on you.
For example, many women reach orgasm much faster when they are kissed on the lips in parallel with penetration of the penis into the vagina.
Do All Women Love with Their Ears?
Some women like to have their breasts caressed with their tongue. Others like their earlobes nibbled. Some like to be kissed on the neck. Fourth, when they are complimented. Your auditory receptors may also be your erogenous zone. You are pleased to hear in their address during sexual intimacy, that you are unique, special, desired, the only, unforgettable, and so on. What do you like most in the context of stimulation? It can also be something external. Listen to how it works for you specifically.
Educate Each Other.
Physiologically it is much harder for a woman to relax and get aroused, and our arousal is directly proportional to our relaxation. If you and I imagine a scale from one to ten, then: if a woman relaxes by three, she gets excited by three; if she relaxes by five, she gets excited by five. And if she gets excited by ten, to the maximum, then she will have a hundred percent very vivid orgasm and a very pleasant intense experience. So we need to learn how to relax, and for that we need as many erogenous zones as possible included in foreplay.
Female and Male Arousal is Different
It is different both in its speed and in the physiological features of the process. That’s why a woman needs a little more time, stimulation. And knowledge and understanding of erogenous zones will be a great help in this. Unfortunately, a man cannot always guess where our erogenous zones are, just as we cannot read thoughts, listen to feelings in the body of other people.
This is where dialogue is important. If you’ve explored yourself, see how it works for you, then share it with your partner. If you don’t know what his erogenous zones are, where and what kind of stimulation he likes specifically, ask him that question.
“I don’t know how to tell.”
We face this difficulty very often. That’s what my female clients say. In fact, our partner is often himself waiting for us to share how we like it, especially if this information helps a woman achieve orgasm. And then it is an instruction for the man: where and what secret buttons to press so that you get aroused and have the most vivid orgasm with him.
Believe me, he’ll be only too happy, he’s expecting it. If you feel embarrassed, ashamed and you really have a hard time saying – write a letter, record a voicemail, it will be easy and comfortable for you to do that. But don’t remain silent, because the worst thing we can do for ourselves is to remain silent and wait for the person to figure it out for himself. Alas, until he has mastered telepathy, you and I are deprived of receiving pleasure. So be sure to study your erogenous zones, ask questions.
Take an interest in what ways of stimulation give you both the most pleasure and incorporate that into your intimacy. Believe me: the pleasure you get now will be many times stronger, and your sexual intimacy will become much brighter, orgasmic and more harmonious.
I wish you sensitive erogenous zones, a pleasant process of cognition and disclosure of their sensuality, a bright and intense foreplay taking into account these erogenous zones, and bright unforgettable orgasms.
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